Everyone should have a Nanny like mine...

My aunt and uncle have finally moved into their larger than life, more space then they need, crazy huge house. And that leaves my grandmother all alone again. Which means, I get to go home with her each time she leaves my house after dark. I know she has issues, and has always had this fear of coming home after dark. Maybe that's where I get my fears of the unknown? I think it's time she stepped up to her fears. I know it's been tough on her, but you can't let things get to you.

I eventually got over my fears of being home alone, after I came home to that guy in my house when I was in middle school. I was lucky that the creep fled the house before I was able to really see him. I could have been raped or even killed. But I can't let myself think like that. Or I'd be timid for the rest of my life. I would make myself stay alone at times just to get over the fears. I'm thankful, I never saw the guys face. Or I'd probably still be wetting the bed at night. It was a frightening experience, but I got over it.

Now I'll around with the blinds open, naked if I please. Not so much all the time. But there has been a few times where I realized I hadn't unloaded the towels from the dryer and had to run to get one. But still, that would have never happened before. I'm a bit of an exhibitionist. When I feel like it. Or when there's ALOT of alcohol involved.

So much for convincing my grandmother, she'll always be timid and nervous. It's just who she is I guess. I blame the asshole that scared her as a child who has scarred her for the rest of us. Once I woke up when I was living with her awhile back, and was really sick. I literally crawled into her room, and was trying to get her up. I was in so much pain, and was shaking her arm and crying and saying her name, and she jumped up and screamed bloody murder. Which in return scared me like I've never been scared before in all my life, so I screamed back. My heart was racing, and I'm like I'm sick and trying to get you up, and here you are screaming like someone's trying to murder you. It's funny now, but damn. You shouldn't scream at someone every time they try to wake you up. It's just not natural.

Geez....