2007!

14 minutes left in the year 2006. For the most part I've enjoyed the things thrown my way this year. For me, this year was the year of healing and forgiveness and new found friendships.

The beginning of the year started grimly, and I wasn't sure how I was ever going to accept my grandfather's suicide. Each day passed, and each day I came closer to feeling more and more at peace with myself and with his decision. I'll still never truly understand those decisions, but I do know that he's no longer in pain, and that can't possibly be a bad thing.

A couple of months passed, and I found myself looking for a new job. Not that I didn't enjoy my previous job, it was just time for me to move on with that part of my life. I didn't feel appreciated, and well, that makes you want to perform your job with such dignity, you know? There were times, I couldn't make myself get out of bed. I'd cry, at least once before lugging myself into my car, and making the adventure to work. Looking back now, I was deeply depressed, and well, needed a change of atmosphere. So 2006 brought me the new job.

Several more months passed, and I was making new friends. Friendships, that I'm truly grateful for. I was having more fun, and enjoying the lack of sleep. So yes, as the year grew older, I did grow happier.

August came, and well. I was able to forgive. Somewhere along this crazy path I've taken this year, I've decided that I don't really hold any resentment against my father anymore. Things have changed, and I've grown up. And you know what? I miss that part of my life. Things will never really be the same, but I'm happy that I'm not as angry with him as I used to be. I'm not sure when I decided that this was the case. I'm kind of oblivious to when this happened, but I'm glad that it did. I guess somewhere between his illness', his guilt over drinking, and realizing that life can change in a flash, I decided that maybe it was time to let the past be the past. The road will be tough, but I'm willing to meet half way...

September came, and I celebrated being a year older. 22! It's hard to believe. And this year, it was surrounded by happier times. Kim, Ann, and Jessily helped me celebrate at Dave and Buster's, and well, we had a blast. Love you guys!

So now here we are....2007 around the corner. Let's make this a kick ass year!!!

*And yes, I sing into my toothbrush on a daily basis. Here's to a kick ass 2007!*

Just a thought.

I've always heard, deaths come in three's. First James Brown, then Gerald Ford, and now Saddam Hussein. How diverse can that group of men be? James Brown "The Godfather of Soul", Gerald Ford, an American Icon and President, and last Saddam Hussein, and evil dictator.

All men, lead such different lives, but yet all touched us in some way. James Brown with his music, Gerald Ford with his wisdom, forgiveness, and politics, and Saddam Hussein with his evil ways. Each man affecting us in different ways. Maybe James Brown influenced one person to pursue a career in music? Maybe because of Gerald Ford's political background, another person wanted to be a politician? Or maybe Saddam's evil dictatorship, another person wanted to join the some part of the armed forces? In some way, these men have some sort of affect on who we've become today.

I'm not a big James Brown fan. I do listen to his music, and have enjoyed what I've listened to. But I can't really sit here and act like he's been an inspiration in my life. I know there are several people out there, that do, many artists that I listen to as well. So I can say, that because of him, he may have inspired one of my favorite artists to become a musician, and because of that, they wrote a song, that may have inspired me. So, in some way, James Brown has influenced me. Not directly, but he deserves some sort of credit.

Now Gerald Ford is a different story. I admire Gerald Ford deeply. Faced with such a difficult decision on whether to pardon Richard Nixon or let him face trial and possible jail time, and yet he went against the popular choice, and went ahead and pardoned Nixon. Though people were angry, Ford did the right thing for our country at that time. We were fresh out of war, we didn't need the years of trials that Nixon's stupidity would have produced. He made a decision, that most of us couldn't have made, and in turn probably cost him the election. He could have easily made the popular choice, pleased the majority of the nation, and turned around and probably have beaten Jimmy Carter, but he did what was right for our nation at that time. I find that admirable.

I'm not sure where I'm really going with Saddam Hussein. I feel sorry for him, for leading such a pathetic and sad life. Maybe if someone had stopped and reached out to his sad little soul or given him a hug, or even once said I love you, maybe this would have prevented such a life of misery, and saved the thousands upon thousands of innocent lives he so wrongfully hurt. I'm a strong believer in karma, and come what may, and can hardly ration why the higher ups could produce such a being. I find it hard to understand that though things happen for whatever reason, that God put him on this earth for a reason. I have to believe that because he existed, that maybe God wanted us to look at him, and realize that life wasn't about power, and having it, but co-existing, and loving each other. Helping one another survive life. Obviously he thrived for attention. It's sad that such a life was wasted. If he had once turned his hate into something good, he might have affected this world a bit differently. And I hate that he had such an affect on the U.S., and that out leadership felt the need to pursue him. I'm not saying that the war was a waste of time. Because in the long run we did what we intended to do. And that was take down Mr. Hussein. But so many innocent lives continued to die, because of this war, and not just Americans. All the men and women around the world who felt the urge to join the cause. I guess what I'm trying to say is, that I wish people didn't have to lose their lives over something so evil. These men and woman gave their all, no questions asked. Heroes. And yet someone like Saddam Hussein breaths the same air. It's sad. I just hope he begged for forgiveness, and actually meant it.

So there you have it. Three different Men. All inspiring you. Not necessarily in the way, but each day, something you do, say, or maybe sing has something to do with these men. How you deal with it, is totally up to you. I hope I made you think. Or maybe I just bored you to death.

Wow, what a tangent.

All you ever wanted to know.

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Buh bye 2006...

It's been one hell of a year hasn't it? I can't believe the year is almost over? Where the fuck did it go? Whoever said time flies when you're having fun, flat out lied. Because time did fly, but I sure as hell wasn't having fun the whole time. But I will say, the new year brought new people into my life, that I love, and I'm thankful for all the twists and turns that were thrown my way.

2006 as so much meaning. The year of the new job, the year I met Jami and Rowan, I became even closer to Lorna, and was introduced to Ciara and got to know Meli a lot more and we became this foursome that well kicks ass. I consider them the sisters I never had. And I'm grateful for the influence they've had on my life, thus far. I can't wait for what 2007 has in store for us all. My phone bill may be outrageous, but in all honesty, what's a few extra dollars to keep us together?

I also had the chance to meet several others, and for that I am also thankful. Vic, you're awesome. And your crazy calls from LA are rather amusing, and keep me entertained. The year of Grey's Anatomy and bad soaps. Gotta love re-runs that get you hooked to a show. I got totally hooked on Grey's one night, and went out and bought the first two seasons on DVD. Days just got worse, and I became more enlightened so to speak. My Internet skills stayed the same, but feuds became funnier. I became the master of getting into places, I wasn't supposed to be. I enjoyed the challenges. 2006 was definitely the year of late night AIM convos, and Tammy we were the champs. Can't tell you how many nights we stayed up waiting for crappy days previews. We had so much fun though, keeping each other up.

And for those I've known for what seems like forever. I thank you all for putting up with my craziness. Without you I wouldn't have survived this year. I love you all.

So here's to a kick ass 2007!!!!!! Be there.

Huh?

So um, apparently. I'm Suzanne, the white girl. Accept it, and looooooove it.

Random spews.

I think I slept my life away today. I watched Days, which was quite boring. Which made me fall asleep on the couch. I migrated to my bed, and here I am now. And yet, I'm still tired. What gives?

So I found out my brother is going to have to have surgery to remove a cyst off his back. Not a big deal, but I'm like freaking. So if you'd think about him during this time, I'd be forever grateful. That's all I really know right now. I'll keep you updated.

I swear, the holidays are magnets for death. RIP Gerald Ford and James Brown. So sad. Can the holidays ever really be a time for happiness?

I really have nothing to talk about, so I'll stop wasting your time.

My condolences...

Gerald Rudolph Ford, 38th U.S. President

(July 14, 1913 – December 26, 2006)

"I deeply believe in equal justice for all Americans, whatever their station or former station. The law, whether human or divine, is no respecter of persons; but the law is a respecter of reality." — Announcing he was pardoning Nixon, September 1974.

For some reason...

I want to watch Bridget Jones' diary...

So I had to be at work at the ass crack of dawn this morning. But I guess it was kind of worth it, considering I got the chance to meet Renée Zellweger. Who I might add is very nice, and not at all about letting people know of her celebrity status. I did learn that her brother lives in Corinth where I work, and well this is basically her getaway place. I think it's neat, and had to make this known. Apparently she likes to chill at Starbucks too...so for all you stalkers out there, maybe you'll have a chance to meet her.

Okay, so I'm writing this blog after I posted bail. LOL, should never tackle Renée Zellweger. Who else has a restraining order put out by a celebrity? Naw, just kidding. How funny would that be though? LOL, maybe my definition is starting to come true...I guess she could be the first celebrity I sue.

So enough of that. Everyone have a nice holiday? Mine was nice, surrounded by people who drive me nuts, but love. Remember last year, when I got a card from that family, that we had no idea who they were? Well....they struck again. Yet another card, and we have no clue as to who they are. I find this amusing, yet creepy. Someone knows who we are, but these people are such a mystery. I wonder what we are to them? Why the hell they feel the need to send us a Christmas card. Obviously, we aren't that important, hell, we haven't seen you all year. It's nice to be known on Christmas. HAHA.

It's been such a long day. I'm so tired. And well...I'll finish this post, by listening to "I don't feel like Dancing" by the Scissor Sisters. Peace out!

OH...I just wanted to add that I think it's funny that some people try to keep me out of places. All attempts are yet again, futile.

Naughty or Nice?

Merry Christmas!

SQUEE!!!!!

So excited.

So my mother gave me my Christmas present a bit early. And well, I now have a cat. And he's so cute, and loves to cuddle, and he's massive. And I just love him.

...So, we go to the ASPCA thing they have in petsmart. And I see this kitty, immediately I fall in love. His big blue eyes are just sparkling and he looks up at me like, I love you. So I'm like, I want to think about this, before I jump into this parenting of a cat. So as I'm thinking, these two guys are staring at my cat. I'm like, oh hell no, I want that cat. So needless to say, I'm the proud owner of yes, don't laugh, they already named him, Butch Cassidy. Which I think suits him well. There are already talks of getting him a mate, Sundance Kid, but my mother flat out refused.

Anyway, funny story. We driving home, with BC in his tiny little box, and he starts meowing. I'm like we're almost home, and you'll so be free to do whatever. Well that didn't suit his furry ass, because well, he broke out of the box. His big ass, busted a hole in the bottom, and popped his head through, and he pulled his way through. I'm like, OH FUCK, we just got a wild ass cat. He fucking played me!!! But no, he's just didn't like the box, and wanted out, like that second. Turns out, he likes riding in the car, and just sits in your lap and stares at the people driving by.

Love my present. I've been dying to have another cat for months now. So happy.

Not the greatest pic. Still a bit nervous of his surroundings.

H2H

I'm seriously exhausted. I joined Project Playlist, and I've gone nuts uploading songs to a playlist for my myspace. In two days, I've uploaded almost 70 songs. I really do go all out. Songs ranging from Mama Mia to Boys in the Hood. I don't discriminate when it comes to music. I really don't. If it's got a tune, and I can shake the booty, it's gotta be cool.

Okay, so I've decided that if Mama and Papa adopt Lorna, CC, Meli, and myself. We'd be the next Brad and Angelina fam bam. I'd of course be Shiloh cause I'm the white girl and the baby of the bunch, Lorna would be Maddox because well she's asian, CC would be Zahara because well they're both black. And well Meli, we've decided you'd be Jennifer Aniston because we all know Jen and Ange will be buds one day, and you were in Mama's FC. Okay, I've so had too much crack. Mama's gonna kick my ass.

We're so funny:

BeIIeDoc24: i love that im maddox
BeIIeDoc24: the asian baby
BeIIeDoc24: lol
DHSloveME: DUH
BeIIeDoc24: LOL
DHSloveME: I'm the white girl, so that makes me Shiloh
DHSloveME: lol
DHSloveME: And I am the baby of us 4
DHSloveME: lol
BeIIeDoc24: ahaha
DHSloveME: so it makes sense
DHSloveME: and well CC and Zahara are black
DHSloveME: it works
BeIIeDoc24: bahaha

Okay, I'm out.

Define Yourself.

Zanne -- [noun]: A person who makes a living suing celebrities 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Alive. And semi-well.

I catch myself singing Amy Winehouse's song Rehab all the time. I'm sure people think I'm some kind of lush or addict. But I love the song. So that's my new myspace profile song. Might as well get it out of me. Maybe it's more of an unknown shoutout, to some random person that might just happen to stalk my myspace. How flattering would it be if we all had a myspace stalker. Of all the people, they chose you. Okay, I'm really starting to stray here. And I think I'm just tired as fuck. Yeah that's it.

I so can't focus right now. Everything is catching my attention.

I was so pissed at work today. Not gonna get into the story. Because it's really stupid. But long story short, I about took out Denice with our swinging door, and I about shit my pants. I could have died in the process, LOL, but thank God Denice likes me.

So me and the Internet just aren't getting along tonight, well I guess I should say morning. Later bitches. Just wanted you to know, that I was alive.

And Vic, hope you have a safe trip to London, and then off to Frankfurt, and please, no skiing accidents in the Alps. And bring me back something from Paris! Love ya!

Santa is a Whore.

Life always gets complicated around the holidays. What normally should be a happy time for all of us, only breeds sorrow. It's more about the memories, and remembrance. You remember when life wasn't so complicated, and you were surrounded by the people you love. Now those people are gone, the love isn't, but all you have are the memories. And well it's a sad time for some. And I'm happy for those who are truly happy this time of year. And I'm sorry for the ones that lost someone dear to them this year.

So with that said, I'm not really into Christmas this year. I should be. But I can't let myself think about it. I'm surrounded by people I adore, that's all that matters. Hear my bell ladies? Once January hits, I can fake the smiles all over again. Come February, I will be happy. Wrecking havoc and stalking always makes me happy.

So....

I need to get my shopping done. Like now. But that involves motivation and a shower. LOL, fat chance.

Light a Candle.

Light to Unite.

Today, Bristol-Myers Squibb, the pharmaceutical monolith that charges nearly $1,000 for a 30 day supply of one of its HIV/AIDS medications, is donating $1 to the National AIDS Fund for each person who simply visits their website and "virtually lights a candle." The tally is 933,156 now.

It only takes a few precious seconds.

You make me this way.

(This pic was too funny this early morning.)

Why is it that when I want to get mail, it never comes. I'm expecting two packages, and nothing. I swear the mailman hates me. Should I say mail woman? Ever since I scared her, which was a total accident, I've felt this underlying hate. Power dike with a vengeance. I just want my pirated DVD and charm bracelet. It's all I ask. Is that too much? Gees. I swear, thank whoever for email. It's so the way to go.

I watched Ghost World this early morning after being awoken. What else to do. I've been hassled for forever to watch this movie. And to all my movie theater peeps. She gets fired for not upselling. BAHA. I really liked the movie, and well it's been forever in a day, but I finally watched it. Aren't we proud?

Ever notice how the holidays really put people in the spirit? I've never seen such gifted assholes. It never fails. Each year, around this time, people become absolutely unbearable. Something about the birth of that Jesus. You think these people go home, and are raped with a pine cone. No it's just the stress of shopping. Seriously, shopping is for therapy. You shouldn't be getting so angry. I just don't understand. I come home happy when I shop. Where are we going wrong when we come home angry after a day full of purchases? Fuck if I know. At least try and get shopping right people.

The ponytail is back at work. WHY?!?! I guess I don't mind that she's back, but it should at least come with warning. I shouldn't be surprised like that. My heart can't take such surprises again. Between her and Ned Flanders, I'm gonna die a slow and painful death. Nah, it's not that bad. I just stick to being a bitch. Works like a charm.

Why must I take naps after 6? And Meli, totally sorry that I seemed to cut you off during texts tonight. That's me being pathetic and falling asleep mid text. Because I've decided that I needed a nap, well more my exhaustion decided this for me, I'm up now. Of course.

I guess I could wish my aunt a happy birthday. Jana. Ha, you're 40. I think. No, wait. Damnit, she's 37. Fuck that I wanted to rub it in. Well 37's killing her anyway, God forbid you get old and all. I'm once to talk. It's just funny to see people freak about their age. I guess this means another family dinner...and depending on who's going, I might show up. Hey, it's free food, and Tuesday. Tuesday's suck with great magnitude anyway, so why not? I act like I'm invited. If I go, someone will piss me off, and if I don't I'll hear about it later. So oh well. No win situation here. Might as well piss them off in person, right?

Enough of this shit. Peace out.

And for those that matter. Lulas.

About that....

Shopping. I can't stop myself. I bought not one but two handbags. Well one's more luggage material and will be used for my trip to LA in the new year. Couldn't pass it up. Once I'm out shopping, I can hardly stop. And of course, I walked away with nothing but stuff for myself. I really need to buy everyone gifts. I really need to get into the Christmas spirit. Oh well...

I totally just got sidetracked. And well I totally forgot what I was going to write about. So ummm, later.

Tammy makes me presents.

I heart Lewis Black.

Ti(red).

I added a red ribbon to the blog in honor of World Aids Day. I hope you would all click and be informed. I think everyone should be aware of the problem, and should at least try and help, in any way that you possibly can. Whether financially, or just spreading the word. Make a difference. Think Red.

Today has been the lazy day of all days. I don't think I made it out of my bed more than an hour. I've been on and off the phone, conference calling my ladies scattered throughout the U.S. Gossip is always fun. Love my ladies, and well bells unite. Ha Ha.

Tammy's sending me the greatest gift ever. Well close to it...but yeah so not the point. It's good to have the sources and well friends. Feelin' the love. So shout out to Tam-Tam. My ass loves you. Feel special. And well Vic, my love. You started this. But you know I love you.

I hate cold weather. It makes me lazy, I don't want to leave the house, because I don't want to get cold. So in return, I do nothing. I grunge around. Being as unproductive as I possibly can be.

I think I'll go shopping tomorrow. Yeah. I think I will. Peace out.