Better Safe, than Fucked.

OMG, so this lady goes into labor while I'm at work today. Let me repeat myself, because I really think this deserves repeating. A mego preggo lady goes into labor while I'm at work. Granted, I'm on my lunch break, goofing off with some great kids, and I totally missed the commotion. But seriously if you're with child and huge and can barely walk. I don't think shopping is for you. The ambulance had to come, and well I guess she had a baby today. Or if she's totally fucked herself with karma, she's still in labor and the epidural totally rejected her. And well, she's begging God to strike her dead. And well, do you blame her? I've never had children, but something tells me it's painful, and something you want to experience while under the influence of some powerful drugs. And for those women, who offer their bodies to other women who can't conceive a child, more power to you! I think I'll just stick with my furry babies for the time being.

I saw Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby on Friday night. So funny. And living in Bristol for a good portion of my life, made the movie ten times funnier. Nascar fans are humorous, and well just watch the movie. It's definitely a must see. My favorite line, goes something like..."Well we invented the missionary position (Americans). You're welcome." And Will Ferrell in a Crystal Gayle shirt. Glorious. It's sad, that I knew who was on the shirt before most people in the theater. I blame my grandmother, and all those nights she made us watch the Grand Ole Opry with her. I'm scarred for life. I'm being totally serious. The quickest way to get two children to fall asleep...sit them in front of the TV while watching Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton singing a duet, or I'm almost ashamed to admit this...watching re-runs of Hee-Haw. Roy Clark still gives me nightmares.

Anyway, Megan's gone. And it's pretty lonely around here. Dreaded football season is around the corner. I like the game, but gees, my family is obsessed.

*yawns* Must get sleep. Later kids.

So if you learned anything from this post...WEAR A CONDOM.