Insomnia just hearts me.

I can't sleep. I haven't really even attempted to shut these eyes. But I know that it won't happen. I can never get to sleep at a decent hour. Any time before 1 am seems to be out of the question. I don't mind sitting up at nights writing. But sometimes that can get a little old. Well not really, but there are other things I would love to be doing, like say, sleeping.

Hold on! Shit, someone just tapped on my window!!!!

Okay, I just had a mini heart attack, that was not just anyone tapping on my window. That was Katie Baby. She wasn't around for feeding time, and well it's almost 3 am. And she's hungry damnit! Funny how she knows exactly where my room is, and knows just how to scare the shit out of me. Cats, and their appetites. I left her food out, something must have gotten a hold of it. I really need to make sure the neighbor stops getting into the food bowl. Such a pest.

I found an old ass photo of me at a party on Halloween, I'm pretty sure it was in 2002. That was a crazy party. That's about all I remember about it. It was at the infamous island in Bluff City or maybe it's Blountville, Tennessee. And yes it's a true island. Such a cool place to get down and party. I haven't been there in ages. It will be probably 2 years this summer. Gosh that pic was taken right after my 18th birthday and before Rachel was even pregnant. So much time has gone by, and things have changed so much. I've lost contact with Rachel. And Teneka lives in Ohio. And I have no idea what's happened with Doug or his brother James. Sad, how sometimes we don't keep up with the people we care about like we'd like too. Time just keeps moving, and we move right along with it, sometimes over looking what really matters the most. I'm not proud of everything I've done or said, but I'm glad I'm still standing here today, talking just as much bullshit. Well I don't always talk bullshit. Or maybe I do. Oh who knows. Some things never change.

A part of me, misses nights like those on the island. Another part of me thanks God that phase in my life is over. I am glad that I don't live in Bristol anymore. Getting out, was about the best choice I ever made, even though it killed me at the time. I miss my friends. I just don't want to be pulled back to such a dead end town. I feel for a lot of people that still live there. Sometimes I hear the gossip that goes around, and you hear about someone getting married or someone's had another baby. Bristol does that for a lot of people. People have this rush to get married and settle down. Are you serious? Most of these people are younger than I am. Starting a family is not even something I think about, ever. And yet some people are starting on baby number 2. I don't even consider myself to be the biggest adult, I definitely don't need a child at the moment. I have other things to worry about, like myself. Man that sounded just a bit self centered.

Anyway, I think I might try this thing they call sleep.

(Teneka I hope you don't me posting your pic!!! From right to left. Rachel, Me, Doug, Teneka, and James. I guess you can't see the coffin behind us...)